


twisted love

by DegrassiFanatic



Series: Character Study [6]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Era, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 02:28:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14392323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DegrassiFanatic/pseuds/DegrassiFanatic
Summary: Gwen spends the next hours surrounded by dead bodies who are starting to rot and is holding an enemy close to her. Arthur and Merlin will walk into the clearing, finding a distraught Queen covered in blood and tears holding a peaceful looking Morgana against her chest.





	twisted love

**Author's Note:**

> y'all know I had to do it to em

Everything in court had become josled after Merlin revealed his magic and the laws were starting to change. Weeks had gone by where Arthur, Merlin, and Gwen were all hunched over papers and their fingers stained with ink. Days were spent convincing the council and slowly integrating magic into Camelot. Nights were spent planning everything to do the next day. All of it had become a new routine of sorts.

 

Arthur and Merlin had decided that Gwen should go out for a ride. She had been found in the hallway, slumped against the wall sleeping. Gwen’s usually perfect hair was put up into a bun, as if she was a servant again. Her gown was disregarded for some trousers and Arthur’s tunic. Servants had gone to the King and future Court Sorcerer to tell them about the Queen.  

 

Merlin had forced Gwen onto a horse, telling her that she was to have a relaxing morning that day. Arthur had just silently given her a look when she tried to protest. He said to not worry about anything back at court. Merlin had also chastised Gwen for overworking herself but, Gwen had simply plugged her ears with her fingers refusing to listen to him hounding her. After all, it was quite hypocritical knowing that both of them had fallen asleep in the council chambers, Arthur sprawled out on the table and Merlin against the wall.

 

That is why she is currently on a horse with no end destination. Arthur had kept nagging her to not go alone, to take somebody. She had decided to take some low ranking knights, not wanting the best knights out in the forest in case there was an attack on the citadel. Everything is going pleasantly, except for the part where everything is boring. Gwen was not close to these knights, knew only their names and nothing else. Her attempts at conversation are interrupted when he hears a branch break behind her, she turns to look  and there is nothing.

 

When she turns back, bandits suddenly surround them and ruin what was supposed to be her relaxing morning. She doesn’t worry because bandits attack them almost every time they are on a ride, she trusts her knights to be able to defend her and themselves. Gwen keeps a note in her head that she must speak to Arthur about the increasing number of bandits. She dismounts her horse quickly enough and goes to hide behind a tree. The knights easily fight the bandits, trained by the King themselves certainly does wonders for their skills.

 

The bandits are acting strange, like they are waiting for someone to enter. That’s when it clicks, they were hired and it’s obvious by who, when said person walks into the clearing. Gwen’s heart starts to beat faster. Everything goes quiet after, like her mere presence had sent everyone to the brink of death. She looks around to see that all the bandits had disappeared. Gwen looks down to the forest floor and sees her men lying still on the ground, eyes open and staring at nothing. Silent tears slip down her face because it’s always a tragedy to lose someone, no matter how close. She sees slight movement on the ground and it’s Sir Ulrich. Sir Ulrich who is breathing and living by a thread which is about to break in mere moments.

 

Sir Ulrich uses his last moments to throw a sword into Morgana’s chest.

 

When Gwen screams it is not because Sir Ulrich’s body has gone limp.

 

She runs over to Morgana’s body which is getting increasingly paler and weaker as the second goes by. Gwen tries to feel for the sword in her chest. She grabs at the hilt of the sword and her heart breaks a little because Morgana lets out a cry. Gwen gets up to go to her horse and grabs her water from her satchel. As she sits down behind Morgana, she falters a bit. Gwen wants to stop the bleeding, make her a bandage out of her blood soaked gown, hold her close until the world has finally settled. Her heart breaks a bit more when she has the realization that she can’t. Morgana is a traitor, a classic storybook villain who is destined to die. If Morgana lives she will destroy all of Camelot and her people. Let Morgana live and she sentences all of her citizens, her family, her friends to death. Let Morgana die and she keeps four people from experiencing the worst heartbreak. Gwen knows that the decision has been made, long before she realizes.

 

She loves Morgana with all her being but, Morgana doesn’t love her back. Stopped loving her back, years ago.

 

Instead she drops the water and pulls Morgana closer, uncaring about the consequences.

 

“What are you doing?” she croaks out with a grunt of pain.

 

“Be quiet.”

 

A moment goes by in silence.

 

“I loved you so much, still love you so much. Sometimes I feel like a traitor to the Crown because everytime I go past your rooms I think that I should’ve joined you in your anger and your bloodthirsty rampage. But, even before all of this when it was just Lady Morgana and her handmaid, you still broke my heart. Everyday when you would kiss the knights and hold other visiting noble’s hands, knowing exactly what it was doing to me.”

 

“Love is nothing in the end. It only prolongs inevitable betrayal.” Morgana struggles to get the words out.

 

“Morgana open your eyes! You have put me in such a difficult position. I can get you bandaged up but, then you would use my love as an advantage. Use me to do horrible things like hurt Camelot. I have to let you die because if you don’t, everyone else will.” Gwen cries out and everything is messy and ugly.

 

“Do you understand now, Guinevere? If I loved you back, you would’ve used it as an advantage as well.”

 

And, she does understand because as much as it causes unbearable pain to Gwen, they are on opposite sides of a battle that they were never meant to fight. They may be grown women but, Gwen feels like they are orphans of war that took too many from both sides.

 

She holds her closer and gives no concern about the fact her gown is stained with the blood of a traitor. Morgana gives no care that Gwen’s tears are falling onto her face. In mere minutes, these things will not matter. In minutes, nothing will matter.

 

Everything feels terrifying when she feels Morgana still in her arms. She tries to wake her up, moving her around a bit but nothing wakes her. All the anger and tension has drained from Morgana’s face. As if she’s finally found the best potion for nightmares. Gwen tries to make herself believe that all of this was just a twisted nightmare, that maybe Morgana’s nightmares were contagious in a way.

 

Gwen spends the next hours surrounded by dead bodies who are starting to rot and is holding an enemy close to her. Arthur and Merlin will walk into the clearing, finding a distraught Queen covered in blood and tears holding a peaceful looking Morgana against her chest.

 

**Author's Note:**

> hi yess, someone explain why i love hurting my favourite characters.
> 
>  


End file.
